Brother Rat’s Paschal Report

5F82Living in a vegetarian household is really getting me down. No meat for months, I almost forgot what it tasted like! So late one night I quietly tip toed outside and trapped a hedgehog. I put it in a pot of water and cooked it up.

Helen caught me at it. “Well,” she said. “If you are going to eat meat a hedgehog is as good as anything. They are a pest animal in New Zealand. By the way the proper way to cook it is encase it in clay and bake it in the embers of a fire.”

She talked some more about pest animals and I discovered much to my dismay that rats are considered  pest animals and many people set traps to kill us. Whatever next? I should never have stowed away in Helen’s bag. Just as well Chapter is not too far away. I don’t think bribing the judges will be enough. Maybe I’ll kidnap them and hold them to ransom – I just have to have a nice, dry, warm, dark American closet for next year in which to recover from living with Helen.

About John Michael

Pastor, teacher, husband, dog walker, gardener, petrocollapse agitator, contemplative, hiker. Currently serving as a Formation Coordinator for OEF and Dean of VT/NY conference of Lutheran Synod.

Leave a Reply