Living in a vegetarian household is really getting me down. No meat for months, I almost forgot what it tasted like! So late one night I quietly tip toed outside and trapped a hedgehog. I put it in a pot of water and cooked it up.
Helen caught me at it. Well, she said. If you are going to eat meat a hedgehog is as good as anything. They are a pest animal in New Zealand. By the way the proper way to cook it is encase it in clay and bake it in the embers of a fire.
She talked some more about pest animals and I discovered much to my dismay that rats are considered pest animals and many people set traps to kill us. Whatever next? I should never have stowed away in Helens bag. Just as well Chapter is not too far away. I dont think bribing the judges will be enough. Maybe Ill kidnap them and hold them to ransom – I just have to have a nice, dry, warm, dark American closet for next year in which to recover from living with Helen.